Before I begin I should give some background (strap in...this may take a while). I have been married for 15 years to the most amazing person I know. Together we have birthed (she did most of the birthing) and are raising 5 equally amazing kids. Their ages range from 14years old to 1year old. These kids are hugely talented and fiercely independent. Here is my progeny-
I could not have asked for better kids, but numbers don't lie... THE TROOPS HAVE LANDED AND WE ARE OUT GUNNED!!
Our only weapon against this relentless horde is CLEARLY DEFINED ROLES!! I make the money and she runs the house. Mommy makes the rules and daddy is the enforcer. This is a gross over simplification, but there it is. I really only have one rule...DON'T DISRESPECT YOUR MOM!! If you do disrespect her I will go all Cosby on your hiney...
"I brought you in this world and I can take you out".
Hopefully you get the picture. That's enough background...on with the show.
I realized several weeks ago that my wife was going on months without a break. I am able to function without breaks, my job is such that I am constantly being told how great I am. With that kind of motivation who needs rest (I do realize that rest is necessary, and I do, rest that is. I just really like my job). My wife on the other hand never really gets to hear what a great job she is doing. Outside of a few encouraging comments, the random mothers day art and the occasional date night, she gets nothing. For the sake of her mental health, and on the recommendation of a friend, I decided to give her a week off.
The Rules of "Return To Sanity Week" were thus-
No household duties
Limited to no interaction with the children
Spend whatever you want...we'll make more
HAVE LOTS OF FUN!!
In addition to the break from home life, many of her friends showered her with love in the form of extravagant dinners, crazy cool massages, lunch's, flowers and good ole' hang out time. She has had a great week and seems very rested. So who had the kids you ask? Well...me. And this is how my week went.
Wake up at or around 7am and start the coffee. While I wait for the liquid life support to brew I set the table for breakfast. Most days were cereal and fruit. One day was eggs, toast and sausage. After the table is set I begin the process of bringing the dead back to life. I am sure this is blasphemous to say, but Jesus got nothing on me!! The process of waking the kids starts gently enough and quickly turns to threats of gallons of water on the head. This usually does the trick. Once dressed, which never happens without many minutes of consternation on the part of the overly fashion conscious child, they make their way to the table for the morning victuals. There is genrally some bickering over who gets to read what cartoon on which box of cereal. But all in all it goes well. No bloodshed. Once the children are fed I begin the process of packing the lunches. This also goes quickly. Then...brush teeth, make beds, prepare back packs and sit down for some PBS. On good days we would spend time reading scripture together. This is a time that I treasure and wouldn't trade for the world. 8am comes and I get the kids off to school. My 14 year old son Noah, who is home schooled, hangs out with the baby while I truck the kids up the street. I need to pause here and say that Noah is AMAZING!! He is so good with his siblings. I could not have managed this week without him. For the sake of brevity I will speed things up with a punch list type breakdown-
- Feed kids
- Dress kids
- Drive kids
- Clean house
- Work for a couple hours
- Put baby down for nap
- Breathe
- Baby wakes, play with baby
- Pick kids up
- Play with kids
- Feed kids
- Bath kids
- Bed kids
- Breathe and watch mindless TV
- Rinse and repeat
Along the way I had help from grandma and friends, which made everything much easier. All in all it was a good week. No one died and I can only count two new gray hairs in my beard.
So what did I learn this week? What lesson can I glean from this experience? This will require another punch list-
- my wife better not die before me or I'm SCREWED.
- Children need mommies and daddies. This is a full contact sport and their is no "i" in team.
- My wife is AMAZING and should get awarded daily
- Moms work harder than plumbers, electricians, garbage men and that guy on the corner that sells stinky incense.
And five days and a million years later I am ready to go back to my job where everyone tells me how great I am. And I will never take my chica for granted again. Good night all.
No comments:
Post a Comment